Ask For What You Want...

“No one should have to ask you for help when they need something…”

. Over the weekend someone made the statement above to me. As a woman who doesn’t enjoy planning elaborate events, or decorating and cooking for them, I have heard that statement more often than not. I’m the type of person that will skim the pool for leaves without being asked but never run full speed into kitchen duties. If you want me to help with those sort of things, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to ask. . Now, if you see someone in pain or danger, helping without being asked is always the right thing to do. But if you are banking on others knowing exactly what you need without you asking for it, you may be waiting forever. When I heard this comment, the first thing that popped in my head was the phrase, “a closed mouth don’t get fed.” . The expectation that we can predict and fulfill the needs of others without them knowing what they want is highly inefficient. This is why it is so important to know who we are and what we want in life. Isn’t it easier to ask someone for help instead of waiting in the wings, hoping they get a glimpse of your anguish and then rush over to see how they can be of assistance. In one scenario you are a victor, in the latter, you are a victim. There are too many factors involved to leave those things to chance; like where the person’s mind is at, what they perceive as a need or if they’re even aware of you. . I also thought of the many, many times that I stepped up and asked for jobs I wasn’t qualified for, pay raises, asked people to buy my books or come to my events; and how foolish I would be to sit and wait for others to anticipate what I want. Why is there so much fear in the asking? Why is it necessary to make having to ask for what you want a such a disappointment in others? Why should anyone put themselves through the drama of expecting others to read their mind? People often say that when they don’t have to ask for something it makes them feel cared about by others, but what about feeling cared about because when you ask, they deliver. . I guess we all have a different way of seeing the world, but my only hope that the way we choose to see it makes us strong, decisive and responsible for our own results. . Much Love, Jameelah . www.JameelahRaoof.com