Envy and Jealousy…

Envy and Jealousy…

My daughter tells me after her sister's birthday party one year (where one received lots of toys the other one wanted), that she had a feeling that was icky and she didn't like it. I took one look into her glazed over eyes and I could immediately see that it was jealousy. Like many of you out there, I have felt the confines of that nasty feeling of “wanting” when seeing someone else achieve or attain something I desired for myself. I never liked the way it felt, and I would deny it to no end and rationalize all of the different ways in which I was justified for having negative feelings towards the person of focus. I don’t know when my feeling stopped going in that direction but these days the thought of being that consumed with someone else seems silly and not worth my time. But both jealousy and envy are very real feelings that hit us at the least expected moments. The first way to outrun it, is to be honest when it arises and to pull that weed before it has a chance to multiply and overtake your beautiful garden. “The feeling of the envious individual turns more around possession, that of the jealous person more around the possessor. One can envy somebody’s fame even though one has not the slightest claim to fame, but one is jealous of a famous man if one thinks that one deserves fame as much or more than he does.” ~Georg Simmel None of us deserves something someone else possesses. If it were for us, we would have it. Its theirs for a reason and it is our duty to focus on ourselves and find and attract those things that belong to our experience and our journey. It is really not our business what other people are getting or achieving, if we are not congratulating them for their fortune, we have to ask ourselves what is at the root of our disinterest or negativity. Life can be challenging enough when we are consumed with our own goals and dreams. We only complicate it more when we start factoring in what others have and how that compares to what we have. I would be fibbing if I denied that envy and jealousy were not basic human emotions, but I’d also be fibbing if I said you could completely eradicate it. Just like weeds in a garden, they will pop up, but don’t water them, don’t focus on them, just pull those weeds and keep it moving. Be so consumed with your goals, your children, your marriage, your dreams, and your life, that it doesn’t even occur to you to be caught up with the fruits and labor of another person’s journey. After all, it’s on the inside where the real work is happening, and we are not privy to anybody’s inside struggle and growth. We don’t get to decide what others deserve or don’t and I think we are all better off for that. Love, ~Jameelah For more inspirational blogs:www.jameelahraoof.com/my-blog