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Gratitude or Bitterness?

  • Jameelah
  • Aug 15, 2017
  • 2 min read

If you know anything about my backstory, then you may already know the massive role gratitude has played in my journey. At a very pivotal transition in my life, I was in between homes, renting a spacious little house, that for one reason or another, I never had a good night’s sleep in. My daughters were itty bitty at the time, the oldest barely forming full sentences, so they felt happy and safe as long as they were just with me. I, on the other hand, would spend sleepless night after sleepless night, mulling over my divorce. Being angry about all the ways in which I felt misunderstood or treated unfairly.

After about a month of this self-inflicted, mental torture, I decided that there had to be a way out. A way out of feeling angry, a way out of feeling wronged and a way out of losing sleep. This is where all of the personal development I had dipped and dabbed in over the years came in handy. I looked myself in the mirror one night and whispered, “Who has control over your feelings?” I ran through all of the names of the people who I had been allowing to steal my joy, and after each name I whispered back to myself, “nope…” I did this until I arrived at Jameelah. My nutty little exercise of looking into my own eyes and speaking directly to myself, made me realize that only, I, had the power to make me feel better. Only, I, had the ability to heal those deep wounds. God had already equipped me with the tools and it was my turn to make use of them.

That same night, I began frantically jotting down all of the reasons why life had been good to me, all of the negative things that didn’t happen, but could have and all of the reasons why my daughters deserved a better version of me. That night I shifted my mindset and upgraded my perspective. I was too blessed to feel bitter, so I made a decision to do better. That night was seven long years ago, and I have been practicing gratitude daily ever since. I never want to go back to forgetting all that I am and all that we have, simply because somethings I desire are temporarily out of my reach.

My daily gratitude practice is so important to me that I decided to create a journal for anyone else who might forget who they are and what they have. It’s a reminder to focus on the beauty of life and to enjoy the fact that I’m here and life is good. It’s better than good, its magical.

I have gifted my children the daily practice of gratitude too, and we enjoy each other. More than that, I show them what a grateful life looks like and how gratitude is the very foundation of a purpose-filled, peaceful and successful life.

~Jameelah


 
 
 

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