When people intentionally bypass your good stuff.

When people intentionally bypass your good stuff.

Have you ever met people who always find a way to be discontent? No matter what the situation, it is nearly impossible for them to see the bright side and run with that. They make everyone an enemy just about everywhere they go. They employ tactics such as shame, blame and guilt to get their point across. These people aren’t bad or terrible people they are simply not equipped with the tools to bring out their inner joy and happiness. The inner joy and happiness that is available to us no matter what’s happening in the world and no matter what people “do” to us.

In my humble opinion, whether or not you are being authentic in who you are, somebody will always have a problem with it; so you may as well be you. They don’t ask questions or give you the benefit of the doubt, they run with their assumptions and negative narratives. If what you had to say actually mattered to them, you would never have to say it in the first place, they would assume the best of you. If you fool yourself into thinking your commentary could clean up any ill feelings they have towards you, you will quickly find out that next month it will be something else.

These people don’t want to see you in your best light, they don’t want to harp on your positives the same way they harp on things they deem negative about you. They prefer to create drama and conflict. And if that’s their preference, you have no chance at rational communication with them. No chance at healing their misconceptions of you because they don’t want to heal them. We perceive the world through the lens of who we are.

But discontentment runs much deeper than the outward expression of complaining. Discontent comes from years and years of allowing the pain of past experiences to calcify into bitterness. A bitterness that has been allowed to color every scenario and outcome. I tend to believe that we are all capable of this behavior in any given circumstance but we have to tap into our emotional intelligence and decide that we will not allow the negative version of this story to cloud our judgement and rationale. We have to squash it before grows.

When people would intentionally bypass my good stuff in the past, I would do everything in my power to “clear my name”, seems like such a silly notion at this point in my life, thinking that I had control over how someone chose to view me was insane. These days, when people intentionally bypass my good stuff, I chalk it up to their lost, not mine. If you have been running yourself ragged trying to change people’s attitudes about you, don’t. The way I figure it, there will always be someone disappointed with you somewhere out there for some reason, simply because that’s what they choose.

Choose love instead.

Love,

Jameelah

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