5 Reasons Why It's Worth it!

For the past year I have been diligently working on a graduate degree in Sociology, which will allow me to teach courses related to Technology and Sociology. My next goal is to attain my PhD in “Arts, Technology and Emerging Communication”, which means I can teach at the university level, which has always been a goal for me. While I do LOVE the atmosphere at community colleges and the students, why not open up myself to larger possibilities?

I have also been working a part-time job for the university I am attending and teaching Sociology courses at a local community college. All while taking full-time graduate courses.

As positive and upbeat as I love to be, I can honestly say that this has been the most consuming endeavor I have ever undergone. My daughters are still in soccer and have to come with me to class sometimes. We often don’t get home until after 10pm and some of our days are filled with school activities, sports, classes, yoga and studying; for all of us. That doesn’t include, cooking, cleaning, driving, the grading and planning I do for my classes and the grading I do for the three professors I work for. Nonetheless…I AM GRATEFUL!

I say all of this to say that this is TOUGH. It’s not impossible, it’s not terrible, but it’s not for the faint of heart. There are FIVE major things I’ve learned about focusing on a robust goal and sticking with it.

1. People who are not doing what you are doing do not understand your lack of time to be social. Common phrases: “You can take a few hours off…You never answer my messages…etc.” I had to be willing to disappoint others. I had to be will to be left out. I had to be willing to be alone, to be out of the loop, to even miss the television shows I love… I had to shut down my social media accounts, Instagram was hard but it was a must.

2. My mindset about creating a system and taking myself and my time seriously is a necessity. Balancing my time like a bank account takes away some of the burden. I knew what needed to be done and how much time I had to put towards it. Surprises are no fun (but they do happen). I’ve learned to use a planner and abide by it like never before. I had to get focused…for real. Procrastination defeated me every time. My new motto: “No better time than the present!” My habits and patterns became everything; they had to adapt or I would not be successful. And I love success too much to not figure it out.

3. I had to remember why this goal is so important to me. In the heat of a battle it is easy to forget what the battle is even about. In those times many of us retreat. We decide it’s not worth it. The worthiness of my goals is not always accessible. In order for me to stick to a path I have to write my goal down, write the reason it is important to me and write how I would feel if I didn’t accomplish that goal. I have to listen to positive affirmations regularly. I scoured the internet on a daily basis to find those who had done what I am doing and how they faced the many challenges. Challenges like being lazy, wanting to socialize, procrastinating, financial set-backs, and a plethora of other mishaps that can hold us back (temporarily). Seeing someone who had already become successful with more coming against them than I had coming against me, gave me comfort that it was indeed worth it. When I look at my daughters I know it’s worth it, when I look at the bank account I desire to increase I know it’s worth it, when I look at the infinite possibilities that human beings possess here on Earth…I KNOW ITS WORTH IT!

4. I had to be okay with rejection and criticism. I knew I was reaching for an attainable goal when I made a decision to attend a traditional university. My initial thought...if i'm being honest...was that I couldn't cut it in "Academia." After all, these people had been educated properly, their academic portfolios had been nurtured since they were in grade school, they had all of this "cultural capital" like sororities, sports, they could play instruments, they joined clubs, etc. This was not me. I felt as though every criticism confirmed that I was not good enough for this environment. I still struggle with this now. I constantly ask myself, "Am I doing this right, am I using the right words, is my grammar up to par, if I make a mistake will they assume its because I'm black and not because I'm just inexperienced?" I had to learn to be proud of my work no matter the criticism it received. I had to learn to ask for help with things like writing, something I had always deemed to be my area of expertise. I had to be comfortable with being rejected because for some reason or another I didn't make the grade. And with all of this, still believe that I had something special to offer, even if I had encountered spaces where I was rendered unneeded, ineffective or "just not the right fit." I had to be okay with rejection even though it didn't feel good. I had to learn to be gracefully rejected. I had to learn how to keep my head held high, and thank others for the opportunity to be rejected. I had to learn that rejection was just redirection...and it was okay.

5. I had to learn that personal growth is continuous. I know we often say cliches like, "you never stop learning" or that "life is a journey not a destination" but in actuality, personal growth is laborious, its work...actual really hard work. Its accepting and facing that I wasn't perfect "as is" and that if I wanted more out of my entire life, I never would be. I would always be reaching so I would always need to grow. I had to learn how to atone for my mistakes immediately with others, even if I didn't like their personality, even I thought they weren't smart, I forced myself to find value in everybody. Everybody has positives and if I wanted others to see mine, I had to learn to see theirs too. I had to learn that taking personal responsibility for my state of affairs made me powerful, blame and anger made me powerless. I had to learn how to not write people off because I came across one behavior that I didn't like or not to gossip about them in my head, (turns out gossiping in your head is just as bad as gossiping with a friend, same negative energy). I had to be okay with not having all of the answers and being open to the answers others provided. I had give more of myself if I truly intended to grow.

Since, I have been connecting with students on a more authentic level than ever before. I HAVE BEEN HUMAN. I have openly discussed my mistakes and what they continue to teach me. I encourage my daughters and students to be their own hero, to carve their own path and to never be afraid of what others have to say about their triumphs or failures.

I graduate (again) this fall and this has been one of the most rewarding years of my professional life. From a student who went to summer school every year in high school and who graduated high school with a 1.8 gpa. Yes… 1.8! to a magna cum laude academic scholar, is no small feat.

We have the tools within us to accomplish whatever it is we desire. One moment, one minute, one hour and one day at a time. ITS WORTH IT!

Love, Jam